Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Voting in Motorcycle Gear

When I went to vote this morning I didn't have to show any form of ID. Just gave them my name and address. They found me in the book and gave me a slip of paper to hand to the person that monitored the electronic voting machines. She was friendly and noticed my gear clothing. She asked me "Did you ride a motorcycle to the polling place?" I briefly recalled Mad Magazine's recurring articles about "Snappy answers to Stupid Questions", but I was nice, and didn't respond with a "snappy" answer, just merely said "Yes". Then she asked, "Isn't it cold for riding today?" (It was about 45 degrees) Again, Mad Magazine came to mind, but I resisted the temptation and said I was dressed pretty warmly and didn't mind the cool temperature. Then she led me to an unused voting machine, explained a couple of instructions, and I proceeded to cast my ballot. It only took me a minute or so, and I remembered that they usually give you an "I voted" sticker to wear as you leave the polling place, but as I was headed out the door I didn't see any of the polling workers nearby and thought that maybe I would not get a sticker today.
I was almost out the door when the same lady spotted me and asked me if I wanted a sticker. I said "Yes" and she walked over to me and firmly planted one on my chest. I said "Thanks" and asked her if I could have an extra sticker for the bike. She said "Sure", gave me a couple of them, and I proceeded out the door after thanking her again.
Sometimes, for example when I am in a grocery store with my gear on, people look at me a little funny. They might wonder what is the purpose of my clothing. There are times when a "snappy" answer to a question could come in handy, but I seldom seem to have a silly answer readily available in my mind.
Oh well, I am just glad that the lady at the polling place knew what the gear was all about.


  1. Dear CPA3485 (Jimbo):

    Man you are dating yourself by citing "Mad Magazine." I remember the publication well, from the time I was 12 years old. But I also remember when another biting humor publication — The National Lampoon — tore into it.

    I take it you have never been to New Jersey. The Garden State is the home of the snappiest and most vicious answers to be found anylace in the world... And it is my birthplace. I was driving through North Dakota on a day when the wind was howling around the gas pumps.

    "Sure is windy in these parts," I said to the proprieter.

    "Yeah, the wind really blows here in North Dakota," he replied.

    "Ever been to New Jersey," I asked him. "Everything blows there."

    There was a cop drinking coffee at the counter... I thought he was going to fall off his stool, he was laughing so hard.

    I recently found myself struggling to dismount on a really stiff arthritis day. A woman passing by said, "How cute... An old guy with a cane riding a motorcycle."

    I smiled and said, "Tell your mother I said 'hello.'"

    You are far too nice and to kind for snappy answers. Book a two-week vacation in Jersey City. You'll be amazed at how easy it becomes to tell a perfect stranger to kiss your ass. And that's how they say "Good morning."

    Fondest regards,
    Jack • reep • Toad
    Twisted Roads

  2. JackBoy,
    Dodge City Kansas is supposedly one of the windiest places on the planet and Wichita is not far behind. A standard "snappy" answer around here to the question "Why is it so windy in Kansas" is to say "Because Nebraska Blows and Oklahoma Sucks" or if it is summertime and prevailing winds are from the south, you just reverse the states.
    And BTW, Mad Magazine was one of my favorites growing up and is part of the reason I am so demented. I have never been to New Jersey, but as I have read how you describe it, well..... I am not sure what to think. LOL
    Thanks for dropping by and being such a nice guy,


  3. I hadn't thought to put a "I voted" sticker on Billie. I like the idea.

    I grew up in Michigan. We are rather witty there, but we mumble. Hence it goes largely un-noticed.

  4. Keith,
    My wife says I mumble too. I think she is just getting hard of hearing.